My Love Story

This isn’t the love story you’re expecting. This isn’t a love story where my prince saves me. There’s no princes, not even a princess.

This may be the first time love has been introduced to you in a way such as this. You might think I’m batshit crazy (if you don’t already). I have physical proof that love is the answer to EVERYTHING. Love will fix you, love will stop a war and love will unite us all. This message has traveled with my soul but has only recently been rediscovered.

My whole life I thought I knew what love was. I loved many friends, family, boyfriends and things. I always thought love needed to be proven to me. This turned out to be incorrect. This was my tainted idea of what love was. This caused my expectations to be high and my disappointments low. I expected people who “loved me” to me treat me a certain way without giving them any example. The way I love should be the way I want to be loved back. I thought ignoring the guy I was into was going to score me the date. Instead of showing him the attention I wanted. I closed off my heart in fear that my expectation would be let down; instead of trusting love.

I would often react to situations I assumed I had no control over. A situation with a coworker was a turning point in the way I loved. This solution had caused my world to change forever. Things at work were changing. Responsibilities were changing. I was instructed to take on new tasks that were currently being performed by my coworker. I felt, as if she felt I was stepping on her toes. I wasn’t going to stop doing this work. I had to make a name for myself as well. The tension began to raise and I felt as if everything I was doing was under a microscope. I felt such negative feels coming from this person. I started becoming miserable at work. I felt like I couldn’t do anything right. I wasn’t doing anything positive to help the situation. I would think to myself she was jealous, or being nasty. Then I would leave work and complain and speak negatively about her. Those were naturally my first reactions at the time. But I needed things to change. I am not one who likes drama. It affects my body physically so I avoid it at all costs. I enjoyed my job before. In no way was I ready to look for a new one but I couldn’t stay with things like this. So, I researched for answers but with every interaction we had to have the tension grew more.

Finally, I had a breakthrough.

On the way to work one day I was in deep thought over a solution. I was thinking about just getting a new job or switching positions. Those options seem to be a lot more work than I was hoping. So, I started to look inward. The external solutions were not a fit. I was praying for a solution. Out of thin air, the word love popped into my head. I knew in my heart this was the solution. I had no idea how to implement this solution. But now I did have a solution and it was time for a plan of action.

Plan of action

So everytime the tension became heavy I thought to myself, just send love. To every comment that was made, instead of judging the situation and reacting, I would mentally send love. At the start of this I had no clue what sending love actually entailed. So I started by saying to myself “I send love”. I did this over and over for weeks. Miraculously, I started seeing a shift. My coworker started liking me! I started getting out what I was putting in. We started having conversations and finding similar interests. We were building a friendly relationship. The jealousy and tension disappeared. A friendship was formed by love. A few months later she had even told me I helped her become better/healthier person. I almost cried reflecting back at where we once were. Who knew how the tif started. Maybe I put out the first negative vibe or maybe it was her. She is a quite, sensitive/ intuitive human. But it was my job to fix whatever happened. I was amazed that was all I had to do. I had to look within to fix an external relationship.

I started sharing this strategy and was surprised with the reactions. I was visiting my aunt and uncle who we’re having babies in the 60’s and living in Woodstock. I was convinced this was the way they lived. After the situation with my coworker came up in conversation I told them how I had handle it. I expressed to them how it changed my whole life and from that, I would be handling everything with love. I felt like I could change the world. My uncle thought I had gone off the deep end and didn’t have much to say. My aunt thought this was an original idea and Michael Moore should film a documentary about it. My aunt was intrigued and needed to learn more about this. I was in shock she was seventy-something years old and never realized this for herself? I then thought maybe I was the crazy one.

After a little self doubt I started to attract this message from others. It show up to me in all forms. It may have always been there but I was finally opened. My heart was open to receiving and spreading this message. The message showed up to me is podcasts, like Ancient Wisdom with Shaman Durek. Now I’m attending mass meditation in DC with hundreds of people who feel the same way I do. My love story is far from typical but extremely worthy of sharing. Open your heart. If you want to know how then just constantly say it to yourself. You will eventually open and a shift will happen for you as well.

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