My lovely friend Joanna once said to me “It’s hard to be happy”.
When she said this to me, my vibrations were extremely low. I’m sure she could tell, but I’m not sure if she knew, just how unhappy I was. But those five short words then had me thinking.
The opposite of happy, is what I felt like. I had just found out my boyfriend (at the time) had cheated on me and had deceived me for months. All the lies he had presented to me over that year had come bubbling to the surface. The discovery wasn’t so subtle.. It went through a few people to get to me. His roommate shared all of my ex’s lies with everyone but me. More importantly, the lies were true. I can’t blame the roommate. He was doing what he could.
After feeling my heart shatter all the way to my throat, I started replaying the relationship over in my head. Driving myself crazy. Realizing all those “feelings” I was having were really intuition. If only I knew anything about the third-eye then…
I was dealing with something I had never dealt with. It was my first broken heart. I was left feeling defenseless and betrayed.
After driving myself crazy, I realized his actions didn’t reflect on me, it was a reflection of him.
I did not let this ruin my future trust. I took the time I needed for my heart to heal. I reflected on the mistakes I made; not trusting myself. I now know what evil looks and feels like. These unfortunate events made me discover what I wanted in a lover. The characteristics I didn’t want and the patience in knowing that God will give
me that person exactly when I am ready.
I can truly say that I am grateful for that experience. Without the evil shown to me during that relationship, I might have never taken this beautiful journey I am on right now. It may have been one of the worst pain I have ever felt but I am grateful for feeling. I am alive.
When I started to switched my mindset from a victim “poor me” mentality to “thank you, Jesus, that happen to me”, “thank you for letting me see the truth” is when the healing began. That’s when I was able to see the blessings in such ugly lies.
I feel as if my gratitude practice is my most important practice. Each morning, the first things I do when I wake up is thank God I am breathing and then I take a deep breath, and of course kiss my dog. I thank God for blessing me with such a loving puppy Millie. I continue to acknowledge all those things I am truly thankful for. Those things fill my heart, first thing every morning.
It took time to get where I am today. When I started my practice, it was in the car on the way to work. Some days, I would forget. Those days would make the biggest difference in my mood. My vibrations are low on these days.
There are many ways to practice gratitude. Some find it best to journal, and others during yoga and others in prayer. It doesn’t matter how you’re doing it, as long as you are doing it.
You will only earn happiness if you acknowledge what is already making you happy. What fills your heart? What are you happy to have? What do you cherish? What would you miss? Then, thank your higher power for putting those things or people in your life. Your list will start to increase daily and your life will fill with abundance.