Those Really Low, Lows

 

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They happen. They happen to all of us. When something happens that we have no control over, and no way of coping with, we start cracking at the seams. For others, nothing happens and that’s what brings us to our low (I’ve had both) … Some of us have this happens once and for others, it could happen twice one month.

We get stuck. This can feel like a dark miserable self-hating cave that’s too dark to find your way out of. But you do. You have, You will. Maybe it will take some time, crawling on your hands and knees or maybe it’s the big jump you always wanted to take but were scared. Those voices in your head that are telling you not to, were too loud. Once you started to crawl, jump or both, you begin seeing the small beam of light that would only get bigger with every step. But don’t forget why you took that jump or that crawl. We can’t have the good without the bad… We would never understand why the good feels so damn good.

My Latest low-low

I was eager, excited and ignoring every sign the Universe was giving. I had just earned my real estate license and knew if I put my mind to it, I would be successful and make lots and lots of money… That’s partially why I’m no longer selling real estate.  I wasn’t doing it because I wanted to help people. I wanted to make lots of money.

And it didn’t happen so easily. Three months at the office, 300 cold calls per week, 9 Thanksgiving pies and many failed appointments. To top it all off the death of my first potential rental client. Real estate just wasn’t clicking and the clients just weren’t coming. This set me into a depression. I started sleeping late, and when I mean late I mean I wouldn’t get out of bed… Harmful self-talk was at an all-time high. But for everyone around me, my personality was still going to sell my first house.

It was time to ring in the new year. New year. New goals. New me. Same depression. Oh and still never sold a house. So, I thought let’s try something. “Let’s go to the gym like every other American does on January 1st”.

Super uncomfortable, I stuck my headphones in, proceeded to the treadmills and googled motivational videos for entrepreneurs. And I did this consistently for a week; even though my bed looked a lot better. Something in my brain started to change. Going to the gym started being a want more than a need. After that I took another step; to the bookstore, I went. This is where the Universe slapped me in the face with “The Living Clearly Method” by Hilaria Baldwin. It was laying in plain sight, not any more appealing than the other self-help books on the table.

Hilaria shares her remarkable story of her lows, her highs, and the coping skills for daily life and so much more. Truly a must read. This book showed me we are all fighting battles and no two stories are the same. Her Journey guided me on my journey to self-development. Her book taught me to enjoy EVERYTHING life has to offer and how to do just that.

The first time I used the new found skills, was walking into a convenience store.  I told myself I could enjoy what was happening in a-not-so glamour situation. If I could enjoy this I could enjoy anything, right? Using what Hilaria’s book taught me, I stepped out of my head and stopped listening to my thoughts and judgments. It was like for the first time I was seeing what was going on around me. I enjoyed a corny joke the gentleman told the lady ringing him up, intended to get her to smile. Instead, it made me smile. I noticed who held the door for who and all the good things I would have missed.

After this, I started to need more and more in my life. A new chapter of my life had begun. Introducing me to a different way of thinking, being mindful and surrounding myself with the whole new world. The world that makes me my highest self, that has allowed me to heal and share my story to help other heal. But we cannot forget about one of many lows that has brought me where I am right now; sharing with you.

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